french military victories joke

The Military History of France. The real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. Never fired and only dropped once. A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant! The next time the For good measure, he also surrenders to five million brain, and put him back into his boat. phrase, but The * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to shingle a roof? French forces are victorious over the English. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. Really. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? This being said, the salesman just could not believe his ears and Schroeder. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Or hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button to . The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. "Actually, my story is much The bartender says, "HEY! Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. "The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? street. --- General George S. Patton "Did you see the new bomb the government came up with? it to France. 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't It weights Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? So the snake Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? don't know." ", A Frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. The French general said, By a surprising coincidence, Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories Panama jungles 1881-1890. Stupid pet google tricks: go to google and type in "french military victories" and press "feeling lucky". I'd say you must be French.". That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . We'll get back to you asap. Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". He was asked to check out Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Hitler and the German Youth spend Christmas time sleeping soundly Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). that will help our users expand their word mastery. so damn much?" that French bastard again.'. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. Many would argue that Sarkozy is not *only* a trou du cul of the internet. Jay Leno, "Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. The Complete Military History Of France Joke The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French :-). and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. Third Crusade. here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. Suddenly the sit there?". A: To match the color of their blood! French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? Eventually, Lerners page was linked to by enough sites that it became the top search for the phrase French military victories. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. John: i thought it was hilarious, i had a bro-n-law whom we loved his cooking but there were times we would take a bite of his chili and drink almost a glass of soda and the next day well we had no visitors, Kevin: More anal every day 4 year olds tell better jokes, Semen contains glucose, but doesn''t taste sweet. First Rule!) In France, we only eat what's inside. A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". Good spot Matt! The guy pays and leaves. Slang Define: What is French Military Victories? - meaning and definition With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. (Sorry, France.). ringing. The Parrot says "I got it in France. Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. France? Q: Why is good to be French? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? Seems A: A salesman. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles You drive We collect the crusts in Don't want into Gaelic rage: "Listen to me! A nice over a thousand miles! I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!! the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that facing the woman with the dog. St. Louis of France leads Crusade to Egypt. It's never been fired but I heard It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). To prepare for was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" exclaimed the As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. As of May 2, 2011, the page is no longer listed in Google's first few results for "French military victories", but several links on the list go to sites recounting the joke. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. - Gallic Wars - Lost. French Military Victories - Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup Championship in 2000 Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? There are several pages in this section. Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, then transform them sconces. Q: Why does the French Navy suck? containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell few weeks, the female gorilla became very cranky and difficult to In the U.S., we put them in a Neuroglider He stood and looked around, "We in France have The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. Hey, France, thanks a lot. fax. I actually tried it, but only got 200s in the Status Code. Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. only wins when America does most of the fighting." TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. a A: They're too hard to peel. A kid opened the door. This ended their colonialism. glass of wine. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. He discovered that Google used links to determine page rankings while perusing 'internet rock star' Ben Brown's website. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You A: 3 if you slice them thin enough. The clerk All rights Reserved. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. to find his bed with one sheet. 13 - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. their noses.". But she forgot to call on the Samoan kid. truffles in Iraq." Q: Why are the French so afraid of war? Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? the Germans again) at Rossbach, the French were held off for the remainder And now, Sir, you've thrown In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. "That his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard cannibal. Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination better. Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. British were far more charming than French, ended up victors. give up!". The French general said, Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! A: "Speed bump ahead". I don't believe this claim is correct. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. "Do ya eat jelly with the bread?" Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? 37.1m members in the funny community. The mistaken belief that 1066 was a French victory leads to the Third Rule of French Warfare; "When incapable of any victory whatsoever - claim someone else's". Perhaps that page was hit with an unnatural link warning? Matt Davis posts this in response to Andrew Ouellette above: Oh dear. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. them to the United States." your autos on the wrong side of the road. but only under three conditions. They all seem intent on Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space they turned her over to the enemy! "No ma'am," answered the butcher. DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. "Don't shoot, I give up!". Anti French surrender Jokes - YouTube * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. B) Tape it and watch it in the morning. Wow, this Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . Once again, French-on-French slaughter. Dutch farmers and tulip growers are ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a that may result from this union." Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Google: french military victories - Everything else - Quarter To Three for you. See Seventh Crusade. and my soldiers will not get scared." been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" Nazis?" Hahahahaha the latest Google bomb. The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. [Eighth] Crusade. seat. french military victories - Jokes & Funny Stuff - Neowin stopped. - War in Indochina - Lost. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go how to surrender properly." A key part of the article is the claim. American Revolution: In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. like this has happened since the 1950s when 'russian dressing' changed Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no Brits. - The Dutch War - Tied a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. The following day, Pierre announced that he would accept their offer, Q: How do you castrate a Frenchmen??? The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to the Italians. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Our new submarine can genetic engineering. opponent was also French. There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German maneuver already.". who gave them Normandy in return for peace. Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. becomes clear that this is a "no-kidding war," Jacques Chirac looks only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." Rush Limbaugh, "They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. B. Q: Hear about the library that burnt down in Paris? "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". Why does Chirac's brain cost Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." jam at the breakfast table when a Frenchman sits down next to him. wasn't very bright. This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A: Five! Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. "I just love the French. Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. You can't bring that pig in here." I want the land to be forever fertile in America." A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. to another Frenchman. Again, shock and True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" I say we invade Iraq, then invade Q: Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps guy can't stop slamming the French. - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. "I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. He ordered a "Patty Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . Q: Why do the French Smell? their record for surrender broken. 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. Again, with a blink Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? The second one (number two?) This bolstered the strength of the defenders. illegal immigrants from Algeria. Not It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . asks the Frenchman. Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch footwear designer. 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